Dickiebliss’s Blog

Getupfront vs UFOs 17th July 2016
July 24, 2016, 1:19 pm
Filed under: blake's 7, football, Getupfront

An unusual night in the long history of  Getupfront in that for possibly the very first time they arrived at the Prosoccer centre for a game with a squad of seven meaning that they could have TWO subs all night! This was of course heavenly news to that pair of old codgers Tony Ward and Richard Bayliss. The bliss of being able to sub themselves after their legs have gone (normally around the 90 seconds mark) cannot be understated.

After a week off due to holidays and the small matter of Jay Robson getting married (congratulations Jay!), the squad was straining at the leash (no easy task for Ward the elder and Boss Bayliss) to get on court. And 7 players? How did that happen you ask? After the return of Mike Lines recently we had the return of another Mike – this time it was a Mike of the scouse variety – the ever genial Mike Ewen. With new signing Blake Mace  coming back for more, the regular team of 5 was now a proper squad of 7 – a Blake’s 7 if you will (ahem).


The new Blake’s 7 inspired Getupfront kit  would take a bit of getting used to.

And the opposition? Another first as the opposition were for once unknown. For the purposes of this blog and to keep the sci-fi theme going let’s call them the UFOs.

Game 1 Getupfront 4-5 UFOs

There was nothing out of this world about Getupfront at the start of game one however and they were soon 2-0 down until lone space ranger Robson scored a simple tap in to reduce the deficit. After that the lads disappeared into a black hole of their own making as they were soon trailing 1-5 as half time approached. And then a lifeline  – the opposition failed to leave a man upfront and Jay Robson rifled in the resulting penalty.

Half-time: Getupfront 2-5 UFOs

What followed in the 2nd half was simply epic as the lads went supersonic with keeper Stu Taylor in particular putting in a stellar performance. Absolute scenes were happening as Taylor repelled everything that came near his goal. Save after save after save were made and meanwhile down the other end Robson and Luke Ward helped themselves to a goal each to bring the score to 4-5.

However, it was not all good news as Blake Mace pulled up after turning awkwardly and had to retire to the sidelines. In a perfect piece of Sci-Fi symmetry, he didn’t wasn’t seen again until the final whistle of the second game whereupon he returned with an ice pack on his leg.

No idea what I’m taking about? Watch this – the legendary finals scenes of the long running BBC sci-fi drama Blake’s 7  – derided for the fact that the titular lead character Blake disappears at the end of series 2 and isn’t seen again for 26 episodes until the end of series 4. Also look out for some dreadful over acting from  Paul Darrow as Avon. 

Talking of dramatic denouements , in the final act of the game Luke Ward squared the ball for Jay Robson to secure an unlikely draw as he converted an open goal from point blank range. Err… except he only BLOODY MISSED! Incredible! His excuse? The ball bobbled!

Seriously – Jay’s miss rivalled some of these…


Full-time: Getupfront 4-5 UFOs

Game 2 Getupfront 2-4 UFOs

Despite losing game 1, the boys had effectively won the second half 2-0 with Stu taylor keeping a clean sheet – no mean feat in the 5-a-side football universe. Despite now being a squad of 6 with Blake lost in space somewhere,  the quality football continued in game 2. Luke Ward scored a stunning long range goal and only an equaliser from the UFOS late in the half spoilt an other clean sheet performance. Nevertheless, Taylor had now only let in 1 goal in 20 minutes of play – talk about going boldly where no man had gone before.


Stu Taylor – the man with the safest hands in the Universe

Half-time: Getupfront 1-1 UFOs

It could’t last of course and the second half brought 2 early soft goals for the UFOs effectively putting the game out of reach and beyond the stars for Getupfront. There was however to be one final trailblazing comet of a goal from the boys that involved every single outfield player (though not Bayliss obviously who was on the sidelines at the time). Mike Ewen picked up a ball from Jay Robson in his own half and passed it wide to Tony Ward who passed the baton onto his son Luke who squared for Ewen to finish with a curling drive into the corner. Super Nova!

Full-time: Getupfront 2-4 UFOs

How they rated:

Stuart Taylor: 

Goals: N/A

Rating: 9/10 MOTM


What a performance. A masterclass of goalkeeping. Without doubt one of his best performances. Bravo sir!


Richard Bayliss:


Goals: 0

Rating 5/10


It’s becoming increasingly difficult to describe just how anonymous this guy is. OK – how about this – it was a ghost poo of a performance. You know, a ghost poo. You know you have passed a stool but there is no evidence in the toilet bowl or on the toilet paper. A ghost poo. Similarly, we know Bayliss was there but there was no evidence at all of him doing anything. A turd of a performance. 


Tony Ward: 

Goals: 0

Rating : 7/10

Comment: Benefitted from the availability of subs and it helped produce a more than competent performance from our Tone. This week’s highlight – his part in the build up to Mike Ewen’s goal of the night.


Luke Ward: 

Goals: 2

Rating : 8/10


Would have been MOTM but for Taylor’s supersonic performance. Scored 2 great goals and worked his channel tirelessly. Not sure why he needed a break in the last game though being comfortably the youngest member of the squad by a good 15 years or so.

Jay Robson: 


Goals: 3

Rating: 7/10


A mixed bag – 3 goals again to cement his place as top scorer but oooh….THAT MISS!


Blake Mace


Goals: 0

Rating 6/10


Blake’s night was tragically cut short by injury. He had started full of running – if anything he (along with Luke Ward) was too keen chasing everywhere and therefore sometimes being caught out of position. No doubt would have grown into the game had he remained on the court. Should have done one of Tony’s legendary lengthy warm-up routines before hand.


Mike Ewen


Goals: 1

Rating 7/10


A solid game from the ever talkative Mike. Scorer of a stunning goal in the 2nd game. He’s the glue that keeps the rest of the team from coming unstuck.

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