Dickiebliss’s Blog

After the shameful hammerings the boys received last week at the hands of Unreal Madrid, the last thing they needed was to face another quality outfit on the bounce. Golden Team are a bunch of Hungarian lads who take the whole game of 5-a-side very seriously. Not only do they have a proper kit in their national team’s colours, a proper squad of 7 regular players and an entourage of supporters, they even film the games they play presumably to analyse them in a bona fide team meeting.

A meeting of Getupfront and the Golden Team had not taken place for many a month – indeed the last encounter would have been way back through the mists of time to the days when Mike Lines was the manager and Luke Ward was just a glint in his Dad’s eye (OK maybe not that long ago but you get the point). Finally they were to meet again…

Game 1: Getupfront 1 – 11 Golden Team

Different Sunday, same old squad headaches for player manger Bayliss as yet again he could only put out the same team of 5 as last week. What the same team that got slaughtered twice by Unreal Madrid? Unlike the EU referendum, nobody was undecided about how this was going to pan out…..

After what seemed like 3 days of constant Golden Team possession, the inevitable happened and the boys fell behind early doors. Old timers Tony Ward and Boss Bayliss couldn’t get anywhere near their opponents let alone attempt to disposess them. Andy Townsend would no doubt describe these Golden boys as “great technicians – so good on the ball” and he wouldn’t be wrong.

Talking of Andy Townsend…

Time and again they made the ball positively sing so beautiful was their play. Getupfront were certainly not living up to their team name. Jay Robson as the lone striker was feeling as lonely as Jeremy Corbyn so isolated was he. By half time the chant from the Golden Team’s fans went up “1-2, 1-2-3, 1-2-3-4, 5-0!”

Half time: Getupfront 0 – 5 Golden Team

With no subs available, the boys had to just turn around for the 2nd half, bend over and get ready for another spanking! And a spanking it was as those hungry Hungarians relentlessly pursued their pray. Never mind that they were 7,8,9-0 up, they still chased every ball, harassed every opposition player to the point of distraction…even their goalkeeper wandered up field to drill one in past a stunned Stuart Taylor in the Getupfront nets. Somehow Jay Robson managed to convince himself he was actually Welsh and summoned up enough fighting spirit to at least put Getupfront on the score sheet and avoid the 5-a-side equivalent of  losing to Iceland – a shut out.

Golden Team take the applause of their supporters at the end of the first game. Show offs!

By the end it was the third game in a row that the boys had conceded 11 goals. Something had to change in the second game…

Full time: Getupfront 1 – 11 Golden Team

Game 2: Getupfront 2 – 11 Golden Team

….but of course nothing did. It was just more of the same. Goal after goal after goal flew into the Getupfront net with their defence as plausible as Roy Hodgsons’s explanation of why England lost to Iceland (” these things happen…”).

Half time: Getupfront 0 – 7 Golden Team

The 2nd half started with the scoreboard only showing 4-0 as it transpire that the ref had taken pity on Getupfront and was trying to knock off some of the Golden Team’s goals. After an official delegation from the Hungarians had the correct score displayed, we were off again….BANG 8-0! Oh dear.

But then unbelievably Getupfront found themselves 2-1 up in the 2nd half after first a cross shot from Jay Robson and then an unexpectedly smart finish by Richard Bayliss from a Tony Ward cut back reduced the arrears. Alas it wasn’t to last and a further 3 Hungarian goals meant that for the 4th (thats 4TH) match on the trot the boys had let in 11 (eleven) goals.

Another time when Hungary trounced England….

Full time: Getupfront 2 – 11 Golden Team

A press conference from manager Richard Bayliss is expected shortly where his resignation will surely follow…well just about everyone else has resigned in the last week

How they rated:

Stuart Taylor: 6/10 

If he were an England player he would be: Frazer Forster  – really not his fault.

Richard Bayliss: 4/10

If he were an England player he would be: Jack Wilshere – no right to be on the pitch

Tony Ward: 5/10

If he were an England player he would be: Gary Cahill – big heart but best days are behind him

Luke Ward: 5/10

If he were an England player he would be: Eric Dier – will learn from this  experience and come back stronger

Jay Robson: 6/10

If he were an England player he would be: Daniel Sturridge – has goals in him but couldn’t really deliver this time.