Dickiebliss’s Blog


Getupfront vs Unreal Madrid 12th June
June 18, 2016, 6:18 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Ah the Summer…and not just any Summer but one with a football tournament happening. Yes its time for a festival of wondrous, majestic and dazzling exponents of the beautiful game. No…not the Euros but a new Summer season down at the Pro Soccer Centre at Harpings Road!

Unfortunately for the Getupfront boys, they faced a Group of Death scenario straight away having to play Unreal Madrid in the first game. Gulp! Resident and perennial champions Unreal Madrid have never lost to Getupfront – indeed only once have the latter avoided defeat when playing Unreal and that was a draw over 2 years ago.

Still, new season, new hope and all that…

With Mike Ewen again unavailable due to his weekly bath and hair wash, it was a meagre squad of 5 including 2 old gadgers in Ward and Bayliss with a combined age rapidly approaching 100, it was always gong to be a “big ask”.

Game 1: Getupfront 3-11 Unreal Madrid

And yet it all started so well….A mazy dribble and smart finish by Jay Robson gave the boys an improbable early lead. So rare is this occurrence its worth just spelling that out again in bold. Getupfront 1 – 0 Unreal Madrid. Unfortunately the dream couldn’t last and the boys got a rude awakening when Unreal Madrid awoke from their own slumbers and crashed in a quick 4 goals in reply. With normal service having been resumed, the lads seemed not just to struggle to keep possession of the ball but also to recognise what it was so dominant were Madrid.

Getupfront could have done with a team talk from Robert Mancini who certainly knows what a football is….

And yet (again)….somehow Madrid were not out of sight (mainly due to the excellence of keeper Stu Taylor)  and when Jay Robson bagged a second goal of the half Getupfront were definitely still in the game.

Half time: Getupfront 2-4 Unreal Madrid

Unlike Uncle Woy Hodgson though, player manger Bayliss, didn’t have a Jamie Vardy or Dean Sturridge to put on at half time to save his skin – as we know he didn’t even have a Mike Ewen – and so inevitably the second half became a rout as tired legs gave way and indeed gave away an avalanche of goals. 1,2,3,4,5…the Madrid goals were as frequent as Glenn Hoddle’s commentary cliches finally stopping at 7 for the half. The fact that Jay Robson managed to complete his hat-trick was as relevant as ..well as relevant as Glenn Hoddle is to football commentary…utterly pointless.

Glenn Hoddle? Ooh don’t ask Tim Sherwood about Glenn Hoddle….

Full time: Getupfront 3-11 Unreal Madrid

Game 2: Getupfront 1-11 Unreal Madrid

If this was Euro 2016, then Getupfront had already broken the golden rule of “not losing the first match” and were now “struggling to get out of the group”. In fact they were now struggling to get out of their own half. Wave after  wave of Madrid attacks swamped the lads who were now distinctly out of their depth. Only the ongoing heroics of keeper Taylor prevented a tidal wave of goals.  Jay Robson pulled one back but it was akin to the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dyke.

Half time: Getupfront 1-4 Unreal Madrid

The second half saw the tidal wave turn into a tsunami as the Getupfront boys were well and truly washed up. 7 goals from Madrid without reply – player manager Bayliss was unable to do anything to stem the flow and decided to maroon himself Robinson Crusoe style as the isolated front man as far away from the carnage as possible.

At one point Bayliss was as engaged with the game as Roy Hodgson who reacted like this to Russia’s last gasp equaliser…

The lads were finally rescued when the final whistle brought an end to it all. It was as if the lads had been playing in flip flops dreaming of Summer holidays on the beach. Still if Denmark could win the Euros in 1992 as last minute replacements for Yugoslavia having to cut short their summer holidays to play then anything is possible …isn’t it?

Full time: Getupfront 1-11 Unreal Madrid

How they rated

Stuart Taylor (GK)    Conceded a goal at rate of more than one every 2 minutes but to be fair to Stu, he was let down by a very porous defence. Score would have been monumentally bad but for his saves. 7/10

imgres-4

 

If he was a Euro 2016 team he would be: Spain – still a class act

 

 

 

Richard Bayliss (Player Manager) Hopelessly exposed at this level – can he survive this reversal? 5/10

imgres-3 

If he was a Euro 2016 team he would be: Albania – there to make up the numbers – nothing else 

 

 

 

Tony Ward   His most significant act of the evening was agreeing to be assistant manager for the new season. Has Tony got his eye on the top job? 6/10

                                                                                                                                                                                  imgres-2 

 If he was a Euro 2016 team he would be: Iceland –  nobody can quite believe they are actually there, playing proper football with the big boys.                                                                                                                                 

 

 

 

Luke Ward  Laboured a bit but was always available to receive the ball and at least showed some spirit. 6/10

imgres

 

If he was a Euro 2016 team he would be: Wales – dark horse – could do anything.

 

 

Jay Robson  Can’t really knock him as he was the only Getupfront player to get on the score sheet (and 4 times at that) but then he did miss that penalty in the second game….7.5/10 MOTM (just)

imgres-1If he was a Euro 2016 team he would be: England – best of a bad bunch but always likely to miss a penalty. 

 


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