Dickiebliss’s Blog

Getupfront vs Pearson Park Pork Pies-Sun 13th March
March 16, 2016, 10:29 pm
Filed under: football, Getupfront

Tony rides into battle

Ward declares war on pork pies

Think you’ve seen it all in this topsy-turvy season? Do you believe nothing can match Leicester City’s tilt at the title for sheer unexpectedness? Or that there has never been a bigger shock than Chelsea’s catastrophic defence of their Premier League crown? Then you are wrong in all of your assumptions for last Sunday an event so seismic in its element of surprise that it literally blew the minds of all who were there to witness it. You may want to be seated before you read the next sentence…..Tony Ward scored a hat-trick….in one game! A proper, bona fide, game-changing hat-trick!

I know…I know….how could this possibly be you are asking yourself. Tony? Tony Ward? The very last word in “really should know  better  at his age”players? The over-the-hill footballers over -the -hill footballer? Yes…Yes…..and thrice YES! Tony Ward did this..for he is Spartacus and he led you here….

Think Tony isn’t over the hill? Listen to this conversation with fellow sore footer Richard Bayliss and think again

Game 1: Getupfront 1-5 Pearson Park Pork Pies

Game 1 but game 11 in fact for Getupfront under the stewardship of new boss Richard Bayliss. Following the shock resignation of previous manager Mike Lines, it has been a mixed bag under the new regime. The previous 10 games had yielded 1 win, 2 draws on 7 losses. Nothing to write about there (err.. except I am writing about it) and with a bare bones squad of 5 and no subs again this week, hopes of adding to that solitary win looked as likely as …well a Tony Ward hat-trick. But this is season 2015-16 and seemingly anything can happen. Yet it seemed to be the same old same old in game 1 as Getupfront created nothing going forward in the first half and deservedly trailed 0-3 at the break.

The second half at least saw them register on the scoreboard with a smart finish from Luke Ward after a route 1 pass from keeper Stu Taylor bisected the Pork Pies defence. But it wasn’t enough to affect the final result and the game was up as the Pies rattled in 2 more goals to run out easy winners.

Manuel Neuer has nothing on Stu but given the lack of coverage of Sunday night’s game, you’ll have to squint and believe it’s the boy Taylor you’re watching here

Game 2: Getupfront 5 – 4 Pearson Park Pork Pies

The first half of the 2nd game has traditionally been a weak spot for the Getupfronters and the usual collapse looked on again as they were quickly 0-1 down once more. But then a bolt form the blue – a goal form Tony Ward! Sure it was a scuffed finish and Tony was only up front because his legs had given up on him (again) but somehow he forced the ball over the line and the lads were level. With the defence being expertly marshalled by the ever talkative Mike Ewen and with Stu Taylor repelling anything that came near him (including his own team mates on occasion), parity was maintained until the last 40 seconds of the half when 2 goals were shipped . The second was a personal calamity for Ewen who got sacked in his own half quicker than you could say “Steve McClaren” and Taylor for once was unable to prevent the inevitable outcome of a goal in the against column.

And then….cometh the hour cometh the middle-aged man….enter goal hero Tony Ward. After a quick check by Boss Bayliss on the state of Tone’s knees, the decision was taken to keep Ward up front and it turned out to be an inspired decision. Another long punt up front direct from the boot of keeper Taylor allowed Ward in on goal and he finished with unerring aplomb right into the corner. Game on! And then game level as our Tone cut in from the left and arrowed a delicious toe poke passed the opposition goalie. It was a special moment for Ward and a career first hat-trick.

Not to be outdone by his old man, son Luke Ward then conjured up a delightful headed goal, nonchalantly flicking on yet another Taylor “ave it!” pass. The crowd  – had there been one – would have been in uproar. This was fantasy football and it got even better when Ewen finished smartly to atone for his previous error with another strike to send Getupfront 5-3 up. 4 goals without reply! There was still time for Tony to remind us what he was really all about when he missed a sitter and a late Pork Pies goal provoked some desperate defending by our brave heroes but nothing was going to deprive them and Ward in particular of their triumph. We may never see its like again.

How they rated

Stuart Taylor (GK)

Ever dependable, Stu bizarrely added assists to his game with 3 in one night. 8/10

If he were a terrace chant he would be:

“We’ve got something you’ve not got,we’ve got something you’ve not got,we’ve got something you’ve not got, we’ve got Stewie Taylor!”

Mike Ewen

Rapidly becoming an very important part of the squad, Scouser Mike was a reassuring presence , always available for a pass, always talking and his goal turned out to be the winner. 8/10

If he were a terrace chant he would be:

“He’s fast, he’s hard, he talks like Steve Gerrard, Mike Ewen Mike Ewen”

Richard Bayliss (Player Manager)

The boss played his usual game of just getting in everyone’s way – the law of averages mean that every now and again this worked as he provided a stout obstacle for the opposition. 7/10

If he were a terrace chant he would be:

“Where were you when you were shit?*

* where he always was and continues to be –  right side of the defence looking bewildered

Luke Ward

On any other night we would have been talking about his marvellous header but the evening belonged to his Dad….8/10

If he were a terrace chant he would be:

“He scores when he wants, he scores when he wants, Luke Ward he scores when he wants”

Tony Ward

A legendary night for Tony. Three goals and a story to bore his grand kids with for years to come. “Did I ever tell you about the time I scored a hat trick kids?”….9/10 MOTM

If he were a terrace chant he would be:

“Tony Ward my Lord Tony Ward, oh Lord Tony Ward”


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