Dickiebliss’s Blog


Kickers 6 – 17 Equipe Ruby, Kickers 8 – 7 Equipe Ruby
December 5, 2013, 10:30 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

After last week’s bizarre dating blog received a luke warm reception, Dickiebliss has gone traditional this time around with a retro themed match report. None of this twittter nonsense. No thank you to rolling SkySports news and their intensely annoying practice of making the last day of the transfer window into a 24 hour jamboree of tales of potential signings being  sighted rocking up at training grounds. I reject players in pink football boots and detest their anaemic “media-trained to within an inch of their lives” post match interviews. No…I crave the days of football being played by proper men in proper football strips, a time when there was only Match of the Day (and not Match of the Day 2 and MOTD2 Extra) and if you missed it, it was gone forever with no iPlayer repeats or + 1 channels. A time of transistor radios for keeping up to date with scores from other games not  iPhones updating you constantly. This is when football really mattered….this is the football of the 70s and 80s!

err…hang on Dickie….if you are serious about getting in your time machine and travelling back to your beloved 70s/80s, then you can’t be using any youtube clips or indeed the format of this blog at all seeing as they didn’t exist back then (Nostalgia Ed)

Damn! OK..OK…forget the 70s and 80s ….here’s some clips of what happened the other night.

To recap, the Kickers got well beat in the first game as usual despite a spirited second half showing  which they only lost 8-5 (after being 9-1 down at half time).

And no…the second result up there in the blog heading is not a typo – the Kickers finally beat those French guys 8-7 and yes our boys did play with a man extra. Do you wanna make something of it?

Ned Kelly to the rescue again

And to think this man let in 24 goals in one evening despite being this good between the sticks… Kickers defenders hang your heads in shame

Mike Ewen threads a pass through the eye of a needle

A rare piece of footage has emerged in which Mike Ewen displays some football talent. Don’t believe me? Then click below and believe your own eyes!

Richard Bayliss in lack of commitment shocker

Andy Hoole said at half time in the first game that the Kickers main problem was that they were lazy and didn’t track back. Andy – how could you?! This cannot be true! Or can it? Click below to hear a shocking revelation from Richard Bayliss on the sidelines. Also, if you watch right to the very end you see Andy Hoole chancing his arm from his own penalty area.

Andy Hoole clears off the line

It may look like shambolic defending but this was one of the few Equipe Ruby chances that got away

Robert Sherratt’s poor pass leads to a goal against the Kickers

There’s not much else to be said about this – sorry Robert – the camera never lies

Robert Sherratt with another poor pass

Oh dear – anyone would think Robert was being picked on….

Andy Hoole effort

Well it wouldn’t be a clip montage without some more of Andy Hoole would it?

How they performed:

Ned Kelly:

If he were a footballer from the 70s or 80s he would be: Gary Sprake

Sprake’s autobiography is called “Careless Hands” in recognition of his reputation as a brilliant goalkeeper who was prone to some appalling mistakes. Ned was his usual able self but at least one of those 24 goals conceded was his fault!

Nostalgia factor: 7/10

Richard Bayliss

If he were a footballer from the 70s or 80s he would be: Ray Wilkins

Richard’s boyhood hero started off life as the swasbuckling young “Butch” Wilkins spearheading a youthful yet talented Chelsea team. However, it is in his “crab” phase where the comparison with Bayliss begins. In a 5 year Kickers career, Richard has yet to make a forward pass.

Nostalgia factor: 6/10

Robert Sherratt:

If he were a footballer from the 70s or 80s he would be: Billy Whitehurst

“Skill Bill” became a cult figure at every club he played for. A former bricklayer, he is considered one of the games true hard men and what he lacked in finesse he made up for in brute force. Sherratt showed his own steel when performing a perfect block tackle on that tall French lad who, and this is the only apt phrase,  “didn’t like it up him”.

Nostalgia factor: 7/10

Tony Ward

image002If he were a footballer from the 70s or 80s he would be: Tony Ward

There’s only one Tony Ward…obviously

Nostalgia factor: 7/10

Luke Ward

If he were a footballer from the 70s or 80s he would be: Norman Whiteside

The original boy wonder. Back in the day , you couldn’t whisper Whiteside’s name without mentioning his age and that other legendary Irish Man United star George Best. Luke is undoubtedly the new kid on the Kickers block but we don’t think he would like to be mentioned in the same breath as that other Kickers legend – his Dad Tony.

Nostalgia factor: 8/10

Mike Ewen

If he were a footballer from the 70s or 80s he would be: Ian Callaghan

857 senior appearances for Liverpool but can anyone remember anything he ever did in all those games? Similarly Mike….well you don’t need me to join up the  dots on this  one do you?

Nostalgia factor: 6/10

Andy Hoole

If he were a footballer from the 70s or 80s he would be: Gerd Muller

Known as “Der Bomber” because of his stocky figure, short legs  and low centre of gravity, Gerd was one of the most prolific goal scorers of his generation. Probably never got the recognition he deserved and often overlooked when the Best Player Ever lists are compiled. Well we can’t have that happen to the Andy Hoole whose 5 (or was it 6?) goals over the two games make him the Kickers Man of the Match.

Nostalgia factor: 8/10


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